Monday, September 9, 2013

Bras

Such a dilemma... To wear or not to wear.  

I have always worn a bra...until my mastectomy surgery in January. 

Try wearing a bra when you have folds of skin and an expander under there just after surgery...so that there is NO WAY to fill a bra no matter the cup size!  The only bra I was wearing was the compression bra those first days.  After that, I didn't want to "SMOOSH" my expanders and skin tissue down, so I opted to go braless for most of the time over the weeks and months of saline fills to expand my expanders. 

Also, the expanders end up being pretty "rock" hard and slipping a normal bra onto my breasts was ill-fitting and painful.  I can no longer wear underwire bras because of the possible rubbing of the underwire on my breast skin.  That's all I have there...skin and implant.  So, it may rub away my skin to leave a hole since I have no fatty tissue under my skin. 

I purchased two bras that didn't have an underwire.  The nipple part was left like a tent top that had nothing underneath it, since my breast doesn't move or conform with normal bras.  Normally, your breast lays into the bra and conforms and fills the bra cup.  My breasts have their own shape and they are still pretty rigid actually, even with the implant.  A darling blog friend, Marge, from the BoobTube.com, told me that after 18 months, she is finally feeling a softening of her breast... so maybe it will come for me too.

For now, I found a generic Walmart Brand bra that is like a thin sports bra.  Inside breast portion are removable, soft cups.  Since it's more like a sports bra, it conforms to my rigid breast shape.  (When I say rigid, I mean that I wouldn't be able to push my breasts together so that they touch...they don't really move.  BUT, they are much squishier than the expanders.  AND I certainly happy with the appearance and the wonderful job that my plastic surgeon, Dr. Ferguson did.  I think it's just par for the course.  Reconstructed breasts have their own quirky characteristics.  I want to make sure that I cover as much detail as I can for my own girls or anyone else who is wondering about what their breasts could possibly be like after mastectomy and reconstruction.)

I like that generic Walmart Brand bra that the cute older, (well-endowed) Walmart apparel lady directed me to.  She uses the Genie Bra with triangular inserts, but showed me the cheaper, generic version, with round cup inserts.  She suggested that the triangular inserts sometimes flip and she would prefer round cup inserts, avoiding the flip problem.

As Seen on TV Genie Bra Small, Black/Nude, 2-Pack
(www.walmart.com)


So, I wear the "sports-like" stretchy bra when I am heading out into public...sometimes I forget to put it on... but it's not my favorite thing to wear a sports bra around...unless I'm being sporty.

Really, I think in the back of my mind I have been avoiding putting on a bra, because every time I put on my bra, I have to think about my boobs.  It has been one little way of not having to think about them ONE MORE TIME!  Since 8th grade, sitting on the floor with my siblings as Mom and Dad sat on the couch in front of us explaining that Mom had breast cancer...since just after my 2nd baby was born and my mom tested positive for BRCA2 and then going through the process with a genetic counselor to discover that I was a carrier...since having the idea of surgery looming in my mind until recently having the surgeries...MY BREASTS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON MY MIND! 

So, in a silly little way,  by not putting on a bra today, I say to my breasts, "Hey ladies,  I am going to give my mind  a little break today and not actively do anything with you today."  That's silly and of course, they are always on my mind... but if I think about my aversion to the bra lately, I think this is why.

After my most recent surgery, my darling sister sent me a gift card to Victoria's Secret.  I think that's exactly what I need... to find a pretty bra to help me feel that my breasts are pretty.  Of course, the shape and look is very nice and I am so grateful for Dr. Ferguson's expertise, but that little scar...
It doesn't really bother me too much... and as time goes...less and less.

I have been SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED to know about this gene and to have a caring husband who has supported this effort emotionally and financially.  I am in a blessed situation and I know this.  I just want to share all of my thoughts and experiences.  I am most grateful and so happy with how everything resulted.  I am most grateful!

1 comment:

  1. I just wanted to say that before my mastectomy & reconstruction, I was VERY well endowed since about 5th grade!! I am quite small now, by choice. and I LOVE IT! I haven't had a bra on since the day of my surgery, March 22nd, 2012 and never will again!!! I LOVE the free feeling. Being able to just throw on a shirt and go, no bra to adjust, no hot bra in the summer, oh I love it!!! I have worn a LARGE bra, nothing ever sexy, since I was about 11, and I'm now 52. NEVER AGAIN! :)

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